She was my father's aunt, but she raised my father...and not only my father...she also raised me. I lived with her since I was like 2 years old until I was 26 years old when I moved to New York with my husband and kids. She had a battle with cancer for many, many years, and that battle was over on June 26th.
Loosing her is loosing my mother....something that even though I knew it was going to happen sooner rather than later, I wasn't ready for. The pain is unbearable, breathing is a big effort, and missing her is all I can do. She was an angel....she really was. All I am, I owe to her.
Our story started the day I was born, we were destined to be together. My biological mother even named me what she (my grandmama) wanted to name her daughter if she ever had a child. She never had a biological child, but she raised me and my Dad, so God really blessed her.
It is hard to express what I'm feeling, specially when I feel so empty inside although I know that she's in my heart and will always be...but in all honesty I never ever imagined that it would hurt this much. I'm praying to God to help me find the peace and serenity to learn how to live with this pain since I know that the pain will never go away....but I am hopeful that I will learn to live with it...sooner rather than later.
This is a video of a beautiful song by Tercer Cielo....it's in Spanish, so to my English speaking readers here is a little portion of the song...for me the most meaningful part.
"I will miss you...that is for sure. There were so many beautiful and sad moments that we lived together. The details, the little things, what seemed not important....are the ones that invade my mind while thinking and remembering you.
I wish I could make time go back to see you again, to give you a hug and never let go; but I understand that your timing was now...that God has called you to be by His side....that's how he wanted it. But I never thought that it hurt this bad."
"Please don't cry anymore, I'm in a place full of light, where there's peace, where there's no evil, where I can rest. Please don't cry for me...it's so beautiful here...I never imagined. I want you to be happy, that everything goes well for you, and when it's your time...I hope to see you here."
Beautiful lyrics....
1 comment:
Bessie, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know that it seems like the pain will never go away, and it most likely won't, but in time, it will dull a little bit. Keep your chin up my friend and know that I am here for you if you ever want to talk.....
Hugs,
Amy ♥
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