It's been a while!

So, it's been a while since I don't get my thoughts together...I've been somewhat busy this month and I've been in a rollercoaster of emotions. Let's start with the good things first. I went on vacation to visit my MIL to California - we visited Disneyland, Sea World, Knott's Berry Farm, and we hanged out at her pool with the kids. It was wonderful, but also exhausting. I have to say that there's nothing sweeter in life than to see your kids have a great time and with huge smiles in their faces. I didn't want to come back to the typical routine, especially when I noticed all the things that I miss from my kids because I have to work full time. Time flies and in a blink of an eye my kids will be grown ups and have I enjoyed them as much as I would love too? Sadly, the answer is NO. This week was food for my soul in that sense and in a lot of other ways. I'll post some photos as soon as I upload them to my computer, so you can see how big the kids are getting.

California is beautiful. It reminded me a lot of Puerto Rico with all the mountains and the green areas....something that we lack here in New York City. My MIL apartment is beautiful and she sure made us feel like home. It was very good to feel like home, the timing was perfect. I'll tell you why in a minute. Anyways, I enjoyed my vacation and wish for many, many more :-)

Now, to the sad part, the building were we live caught fire on March 20 at 9:15 pm. My daughter didn't have school the next day because it was Good Friday so I usually let them stay up a little longer. Hubby was reading them a story and I was in my computer doing some work for one of the attorneys that I'm working for, when my mother calls me and says to me, I smell smoke Bessie, I think there's a fire in the building, open the door and see. When I opened the door and I saw all that smoke in the hallway I completely freaked out - I was in shock. This of course is not good because is like you don't react....I did react but without thinking...why? Because I wanted to get my kids out of there as soon as possible. Just thinking about the possibility of not being able to get my kids out was devastating. So, I grabbed my kids in their PJ's, I was in my PJ's too - no coat, no nothing and I started running down the stairs. Hubby, luckily was a little more calm and he grabbed the coats and came flying down the stairs as well. Luckily also, something in my mind reminded me to take the car keys so at least the kids could be warm - it was probably like 35 degrees. So, phew, I made it out, but where's my mother, where's my mother, where's my mother? I'm going crazy, my heart just wanted to explode, horrible things running through my mind, oh God help me please, she wasn't able to come out through the stairs, but the firefighters took her out. What a horrible experience. But we are all safe.

And yes, I'm grateful that the 52 families of the building made it out and they are safe, but truthfully it goes beyond that. It is a traumatic experience because all you can think is about making it out safe, but also about how helpless we can be in a situation like this. I wanted to go inside the building when my mother wasn't coming out, but what about my kids? Think straight, Bessie...let the firefighters handle the situation. My apartment is intact...but my heart is aching so much for the family that lost it all. It is so sad, to see someone so close to you get their home destroyed. So here we are, out of the building for God knows how many days, but we were leaving to CA for a week on March 22. Was I happy to leave my mother behind in all that chaos? No. Did I need that to unwind and recover from that horrible experience? Yes.

We are back home now, but unfortunately it doesn't feel like home anymore. I feel insecure, sometimes even scared to close my eyes because what if.....? I know this is temporary, so in the meantime I'm praying a lot to take this feeling away from me. My daughter is also kind of scared still, she doesn't want to go to the bathroom by herself anymore, and she can't sleep well at night. But God will give us strenght. I just hope that I can put this in the past as soon as possible.

Well, enough of this. I will come back later with pictures and LO's I've been working in for the classes that I was taking. Susie's class was unbelieavable, what a talent. She is an amazing sketch artist. Love, love her sketches and the interpretation that all the ladies give to her sketches. I enjoyed that class so much, and although I'm a little behind, but hopefully I will catch up soon. See ya, soon!